why is it so hard to let go

Transitional period.

Just a couple of weeks ago

I dreaded going to work. Swear to god!

I wish I could sleep the whole day. No, I wanted to sleep the whole week.  After all I have put in solid 32 years of excellent work that I loved and cherished, I owe it to myself super-splendid rest.

This week - I am on the mission of clearing my leave before real retirement. Sleep whole day? I tried but of no avail. I failed miserably.

My garden is calling for me, so was my mountain bike, my drawing board was screaming to be colored, I get tired just thinking about potential things to do during retirement.

Out of a blue, a friend who I have not seen for 34 years, who retired called  to inquire about  tax  implication now that she wanted to make Penang her home with her newly married retired French husband. She has just retired from lecturing in Singapore’s Universities.

On retirement, She admitted too that she felt like a chunky part of her life is missing now when she doesn’t get to wake up in the morning, doll and dress herself up and sadly there is no office to go to and no job to do.

I always told my fellow lecturer friends, we are like an artiste, once you are out there on stage, I mean the classroom, then you will be worshipped and thus you could make a difference in someone’s life, lecturer must maintain their good appearance and enhance their looks, practice integrity, and articulately making presentation like this is the last day of your life. it's showtime.

If you are not performing, i mean lecturing, then it  feels like you are reduced to zero – nothing.

Learning to let go is not very easy when you were so passionate about what you do all those years and people told you that things you said and did touched so many of their lives.

My friend said, “I know those are baggages that I will gladly severed so that I only look forward of what my new life. I have money, time and freedom on my hands, I could tour the whole world.

Thanks Beng Lan, I am going to do the same. I am seriously thinking of moving into Consulting at the same time teaching young children to recite the Quran, maybe help to organize free food the homeless in the city. It’s a good enough start don’t you think?

#thanksAllah4blessedlife, 

#akubersyukur

#iamaghostwriter

Location: Kenyir Dam is in Terengganu. It is a 260,000 hectares of man-made-lake as a water source for the northern state of the Peninsula Malaysia. The damming of the Kenyir River completed in 1985.

Date:   Leave Putrajaya Moohamadiah Mosque at midnite 25/03/2019 .

             Leave Kenyir Dam around midday 28/03/2019

Purpose:   Rehlah Mahmoodiah 2019, #nikmatsilaturrahim #breakthechain - it’s 3-in-1 package. Fishing, Getting close and in touch with nature and other humans and To put into practice the late nite prayers (qiamulail) in a serene and free of routine environment.

Participants:  24 All-male dwellers of Precint 18 including an imam and an ustaz while mostly other pensioners and die-hard fishing enthusiasts.

The boat:   Our boat was called Ratu Kenyir - a double deck modest boathouse with basic amenities, 10 rooms could accommodate up to 28 pax to the fullest. It offered a complete kitchen, eating area, 2 bathrooms with toilet: a squat and sitting bowl. OMG! Need I mention this? Yes, very importantly as a matter of fact because senior citizens with knee problems don’t do well with the squat ones.

Day 1

The night journey was expected to takeoff at midnight and the journey was supposed to take up no less than 6 hours. We stopped at Kijal RNR for Subuh prayer and resume to Gawi Jetty at the Kenyir Dam at about 8.30 am, already breakfast was waiting for us on deck. The package we took provides a captain and 3 cooks that pampered us with 6 simple but sumptious and delicious meals daily.

one for the Album

that's Ratu Kenyir - our Boathouse

Right after the security briefing, off we steered to first destination, a small island call Kenyir Dam Herb Gardens

Safety Briefing

Two Speed Boats on standby

single bed

double bed

. Rare species of herbs were planted here especially that give man and women longevity in their daily married lives. 

But of course the singles could find herbs that are the main ingredients of beauty and health products. They have a small hut that offered drinks of the herbs in the original taste and a small gift shop that sells the finished products.

demonstration of the extraction of the herbs

try the taste of the herbs in the original form

Next stop was waterfall, we took a dive and swim to the waterfall and the water wasn’t too cold, just perfect for the hot afternoon. Once you have whipped up your appetite with all that jumping in the waterfall, it was time for lunch.

pit stop - waterfall

The boathouse then proceed to the fish pit and the fishing enthusiast brought out all their rods to catch our bbq dinner, the cooks already started the bbq-pit fire. To everyone surprise, not one single fish was caught and the cooks brought out the marinated chicken and fish satey and a fried rice.

anglers in action

lunch

It was a kind of rain-sunny-rain weather while we were there with occasional breeze. It wasn’t that hot but rather stuffy at night but I have no complaints, the fan was working. I was ready with the roll-on insects repellent, but shockingly, there were no mosquitoes, Well what a day!

Day 2

Roll call was at 4.30am performed the qiamullial and subuh prayers simultaneously that ends around 6.30am. There was a short tazkirah by the Ustaz, which has been the practice for every solat in this trip. “breakfast is ready” and so the hungry ghosts jumps downstairs and help themselves to food, glorious food - with the nasi lemak prepared by the cooks. It was superb!

bonding session

qiamulail

Slowly the boathouse moved towards another fish pit and as up to afternoon, no fish were cought. I saw disappointing looks on those fishing enthusiasts, ustaz and imam included. History repeats itself on the second day, they set up different teams to change the way of fishing, they dared using the net at the chest-deep ends , a team went out further into the lake and tried the different approached, they brought back a pail of different fishes, so it was not a disappointing trip after all.

savouring the catch

Day 3

Breakfast was served after subuh prayer, we packed our belongings, the boathouse cruise slowly to the Gawi Jetty. By midday we board the bus, destintion Putrajaya.

Unlike them, I am a real moronic amature when it comes to fishing! I just catch the moments in my SLR, look Ma! No hands, no physical fish!

tips - practise diligence:

1. bring lots of bottle water to hydrate yourself.
2. bring you own plastic bag to gather your personal bottle and rubbish and carry them overboard with you when you leave.
3. take a shower or answer the call of nature when the boathouse is moving and not when it is static.

#boathousekenyir, #rehlahmahmoodiah, #breakthechain, #thanksallahforblessedlife, #akubersyukor. #iamaghostwriter.

i am blasted to pieces

well! they have dropped the bomb on me yesteday, and i am blasted to pieces.

my anticipated transfer has finally came and with effective of 1st of September. it is all too soon and so i spend the whole of merdeka holiday, today packing my accumulative stuffs over a period of 30 years of service. it is a container full!

only now my adult students would be oversea students which are really not young sweet thing! its time to move on....

happy merdeka dazezzzzzzzzzz

pics from uncle google

to god i submit my humble self

god will not trial with something that you will not be able to carry. and his plans for you will not in any way go astray. and so to you my lord i submit my entire being.  and i will accept whatever is best for me.
dear heart, please do not demur

the slughtered cow

well being the best isn't necessarily gets where you what to go. as long as there are people who abuse the system, misconduct will lead to injustice. all your hard work, testimonies and pride just went down the drain.
i am tired of being the second skipper when you have to do all the dirty chores and the skipper gets the glory. i will kill you if you question my leadership qualities still!

harapkan panas sampai ke petang, rupanya hujan di tengah hari

sentap

You really don't know what you are missing until it is finally gone! and we always think that it happens to other people and never us. so we go on taking things for granted.

"sorry" is such a lame excuse to undo what has happen, the damage has already been done, it nevertheless carry no meaning and has no value at all at this juncture.

i have never demanded for much! i have never asked for things in return, or put any terms or conditions, all i wanted was a little understanding and respect. my sacrifices has been overlooked once too often. 
i have reached the point of putting my priority first since my presence is so insignificant and in-difference!

well! having said that! i wish you have a nice life!

owh! silly me, of course you don't even notice i am gone.

pic from google

abused

i am by nature a level headed, calm, composed and non-moody kind of a person. most of the time i give in so that i don't have to face with confrontational action. i give more than i get, and that's ok, i value friendship more than materials.

people like me are usually abused, taken for a ride, and only useful to those when they needed something. little that people realized that i have feelings and emotions too. 
if it is one thing that i cant tolerate is tantrums and moods.

i choose not to be categorised with those boisterous people that displays repugnance much more than propensity.

staronce beaten  twice shy? no this is a case of once too many, too often. i can't be your scapegoat for things that went wrong in your lives, it is not fair for me to take abuse for something someone else did to you. enough is enough! what did i ever do to you.

i am drawing a line right here and right now!

i am deleting you out of my l life. you are not worth keeping.

pics from google

abused

i am by nature a level headed, calm, composed and non-moody kind of a person. most of the time i give in so that i don't have to face with confrontational action. i give more than i get, and that's ok, i value friendship more than materials.

people like me are usually abused, taken for granted for, and useful to those only when they needed something. little that people realized that i have feelings and emotions too. if it is one thing that i cant tolerate is tantrums and moods.

i choose not to be categorised with those boisterous people that displays repugnance much more than propensity.

star

once beaten  twice shy? no this is a case of once too many, too often. i can't be your scapegoat for things that went wrong in your lives, it is not fair for me to take abuse for something someone else did to you. enough is enough! what did i ever do to you.

i am drawing a line right here and right now!

i am deleting you out of my l life. you are not worth keeping.

pics from google

No no no, not TNT. It's TNA

TNA Perbende?

Makcik Wiki says: TNA is the process of identifying the gap between employee training and needs of training. Training needs analysis is the first stage in the training process and involves a procedure to determine whether training will indeed address the problem which has been identified.

Training can be described as “the acquisition of skills, concepts or attitudes that result in improved performance within the job environment”.

Training needs analysis looks at each aspect of an operational domain so that the initial skills, concepts and attitudes of the human elements of a system can be effectively identified and appropriate training can be specified.

Training needs analysis is most often used as part of the system development process. Due to the close tie between the design of the system and the training required, in most cases it runs alongside the development to capture the training requirements.

In other words to put it in plain, simple language: before designing a course outline, consultants have to identify what is lacking in the performance of a particular group of participants and what are the skills organisers or participants wish to acquire by attending the particular course.

It is the duty of consultants to then, identify the learning objectives and more importantly the learning outcomes to make it an impactful training, coaching or courses.

show time! - to deliver the course outline to clients on a silver platter to see if it meets their needs precisely.

work out the details, go go go.....

3s

SSS atau 3s. Apakah?

Trainers should avoid this syndrom mandatorily. 

By switching on your active listening skill, then you would be able to tailor-make courses that clients wanted, that meet their needs and objectives the first place, therefore clients get their money's worth engaging us as their training consultant. 

Usually "Sindrom Syok Sendiri" of a consultant sees him as busy telling clients what and how he could do for them to the point of arm-twisting clients to wholly take what he has to offer. Instead he should listen and probe clients as what are their objectives, their aims and what they eventually wanted to achieve out of the course.

Only then consultant go right ahead and design precise courses, customize to what the clients desired.

I bet you get no less than 96% on the evaluation score sheet. Insya Allah!

Never underestimate the power of TNA.

rice porridge

He who offers food for those who fasted, will get the reward (pahala) just like the ones he has given the food to, without the person who fasted the whole day get any less of the reward from god the almighty.

Ramadan sees Muslims all over the world joining the rat race of giving sincerely to the less fortunate in order to make lives much better for the have-not.

The musolla where i pray organised a porridge cooking session Saturday morning as a social responsibility as well as hoping to gain the blessing, Insya Allah! and the final products were distributed to those who came shopping at the Alamanda Shopping Complex that particular afternoon, whether they fast or not.
The co-sponsors Aeon and Adabi provided the ingredients for cooking, big pots and stoves while the community of the musollah cook the porridge together.

The task was successfully completed just before the Zohor prayer. The porridge that has been placed into small container was distributed to the public immediately.

preparation of ingredients

things to cook

everything goes into the big periok

ready for distribution

OMG! Sedap giler!

multi-purpose laptop adjustable table with cooling fan

i have been wanting to buy this table for ages!

made a purchase online via Qoo10 for an exquisite bamboo laptop table with cooling fan, waited patiently for three weeks, checked my status, they cancelled it. goddamned it! how dare they!

and so i called up the customer care centre and was told that they have ran out of stock and will refund my money. had to wait for another 3 weeks for the refund to be credited into my account. bloody hell!

i was out shopping for something else at the IOI City Mall, but my eyes caught sight of this table and i liked it instantly. the trouble was they have sold that model out too and what was left was the display unit. i wanted it. during the demonstration session, one of the fan stop functioning. Arggggggh! i had to wait for another week for new shipment to come,

yesterday it came and i bought it.

with all excitement, i showed it to wanita cantek and told her that she could use it too if she wishes. you see, we are sinners of operating our laptops on the bed or on the bedroom floor while sitting against the bed, sometimes laying on the wooden flooring. 

lazy bums - that is what we are when the study table is just outside the bedroom with ample space for everyone, but no! we had to do it in the bedroom.

she said the table was also good for putting the holy quran when reading it, or even a fantastic casket for breakfast in bed. Ader fan lagi! omg, me and my big mouth! serve me right. why la do i ever have to offer usage of my laptop table to her.

i am sure she would come up with 101 more bright ideas of how to utilise the table when all i ever wanted was to use it for my laptop to prevent back injury to myself, no more straining my neck and back while doing my work at home.

then, it striked me like lightning and i told her: sayang! let me get you a brand-new breakfast tabletop. you can put your sewing machine on it too!

ps: wanita cantek is my pulchritudinous wife.

malu sangat

What you don't know won't hurt.

but then again ignorance is no excuse!

when JPN decided to change from 30k chip to 60k chip identity card almost 12 years ago i m one of those who was told to integrate my driving licence into the i.c. chip so that i don't have to carry two cards at the same time.

well that was convenient!

so i jumped into the band wagon and paid for my driving licence for 10 years. little did i know that they were not going to equip the patrol policemen with the card reader. god has been kind to me and i never had any bad omen or encounter, Alhamdulillah.

a couple of days ago my son asked me for my driving licence and i showed him my i.c. and told him it's in there!

"pa you got to be kidding me, we have to own a separate driving licence now for it is an offence if you don't have one!" and of course i fought like hell to his suggestions of getting a new card. i mean why should i? it's in there! the i.c.

he has just gotten his a week earlier and told me that he had a pleasant experience dealing with JPJ Putrajaya Branch. he told me that it was hassle free to renew driving licence now.

with him gone, back to his hostel in Kelantan, i finally plucked enough courage to go to JPJ Putrajaya branch at the Galleria this morning.

upon pressing my ticket no, i heard my number being called ever the QMS System and so i had to practically rush to the counter, almost running-over or knocking-down the other customers. there were only three of them, pun around.

then the officer at the counter dropped the bomb on me. i was told that my licence has expired two years ago! Gulp!!!!

at that very instant,  i felt  like running at the speed of lightning back to my car and drive like orang gila mabuk for fear that they would blacklist me, or worst -make me sit for the driving test once again.

the officer calmly just told me that i could take max 5 years, so i paid quickly, no back-tracked payment, no fine, no abusive words for being careless. Fuhhh!

OMG! 

They were so nice, helpful and efficient. just before i could open up my pouch bag to get my phone, there was a voice calling "Encik! dah siap". other government agencies could take one or few pointers from JPJ Customer Service, honestly!

Kudos to JPJ Putrajaya! can't wait to see u again - in 5 years.

***** (servis lima bintang)

OMG! AIMAN,

"G! please tell me how to loose those pounds on my lats."

Aiman is a cute young lad, about 24yrs of age and a graduate of culinary science with a passion for cooking and naturally tasting food, glorious food. He aspires to be an owner of a bistro very soon while in the meantime helping his mum delivering her floral arrangements to clients. 

She is a florist, a very famous one in Putrajaya. Most of the government departments, tan sris, puan sris, datuks, datins and hoi pollois are mostly her clients.

Aiman is on the gendud plump side but he is almost 6 feet tall. Naturally any little bulge would show on his deportment.

I told him he looked all right (dunno why people came up to me for advice on weight problems) but he told me "my friends said i have 360% breast. it shows especially at the back"

i could not help it but to burst into horrendous laughter. 

Aiman, you are hilarious!

pic from uncle google, not aiman's